Happiness Doesn't Reach You
by Sabby-san
Summary: Kagome is keeping something from the group what is it. What how does Sess know what it is....Why Kagome Why?
1. The Beginning

Ok so as not to lore u into a needless whatever im going to say this now and be done with it an it goes for all future chapters as well...

I DO NOT OWN INU YASHA!!!! or any of the extended charactors that may com into play.....

Happiness Doesn't Reach You...

~~~Kagome's POV~~~

I watch him. Him who I love so deeply, choose another women. I stand there unable to move as he walks to her an pulls her into his arms. He holds her so tight, he holds her with all his might, afraid that she will once again slip threw his fingers like she did once long ago. I slowly back away as my tears fall unheard to the earth. I walk deeper into the forest as depression sets in, I run with all my might trying to excape it, the agony. At last, I collapse and give into my wicked desire. I pull it out and stare. I stare at it's gleaming surface. I sit and watch as I bring it to my wrist and crimson burst forth and flows freely down to the hunger earth. They crimson resebled the twin tears runnig down my face, mirroring my heart in no truer way. As the pain in my arm starts to dull the one in my heart goes with it. So I pull out my pen and notebokk and begin to wite and pour out my soul on its snowy pages.

Climb the ways of Insanity,

Ride the waves of despair.

If I fall it doesnt matter.

Why should I care?

Hide my pain, Try to carry on,

Routine is the key.

I should never let on,

What I'm hiding under my sleeve.

I set my notebook and pen down and stare at the crusting wound I made. As I sit there I'm tempted to make another. But I deside against may be to risky. He, Inu Yasha may smell the blood. I gather my things and try to steal myself for what is to come. As I walked I wondered. Would I be strong enough to survive? Fo I, Kagome am weak...

~~~FIN~~~

So how do you like it?

I know, I know a bit short but I;m working on it....

REVIEW!!!!


	2. He Comes Back

~~~Sesshoumaru;s POV~~~

I sat there and watched that pathetic human harm herself, and again I wondered If I was right to observe her. The human who had captured my interests so very long ago, in my father's accuresed tomb. As i sit there and watch her write in some strande book my curiousity was peaked. What on earth was that human writing I wondered?

~~~Inu Yasha's POV~~~

It was close to dawn when I came back to camp. I paused at the edge looking in on my pack. Sango the demon slayer, Miroku the perverted monk, Shippo the kid fox demon, and finally Ka---- where was Kagome?!!! I snapped my head around to scan the camp again. But, i had not been mistaken. Kagome was no where to be found. Just as I was about to fly into a panick, Kagome walked threw the trees on the other side of the clearing. She didn't even glance at me as she made her way to her sleeping bag and laid down. "Kagome, Where did you go?" I asked. Her vioce was a whisper when she replied. "Bathroom." I stood there for a moment longer and shrugged then I jumped into the nearest tree.

~~~Kagome's POV~~~

I laid there and waited until I hear Inu Yasha stop moving around and sighed in releif. He din't smell it, my blood. Thank kami. I sat there and thought about what I had seen and what I did. As i did i drifted off into the world of dreams. Oblivious to the fact that twin eyes the color of spun gold where watching me.

~~~FIN~~~

Ok guys I have to stop there and say that i will be writng in normal piont of view and will try to cover the range of feelings i am trying to cram into this story so please review and tell me what you think....


	3. The Book

Chapter 3

~~~Normal POV~~~

The sun was just over the horizon when the Inu Tachi started waking up and beginning their day. As they traveled each individual had no idea that they where being followed, observed. As Sesshoumaru stealthily followed his prey. his eyes remained focused only on one person. The little miko that had managed to capture is attention. He salked, he observed, and he planned his next move. He desided as the day wore on into evening he would make his move to night and snatch what he wanted. As the tachi set up camp and started eating there dinner. A light banter broke out. "Miroku, Who would you rather do, Naraku or Keade?" Kagome asked with a serious expression. Miroku choked on his food and had to gasp several times before he answered, "I cant choose between those two are you insane?" "Yes, now answer or I might have to tell Songo what happened in the last village." kagome whispered in his ear. "Ok ok i would rather do Keade..." The whole group gasps. Miroku clears his throat "So what about you lady Kagome who would you... do Sesshoumaru or Naraku?" Unaware of the lurking figure hindden paying close attention to her answer. "I's sorry guys but i'm going to have to go with the sex god from heaven Sesshoumaru. There anet a chnce in Hell that I would touch Naraku with a 500,000 foot pole." Kagome said as a scarlet blush crept over her cheeks. The figure in the shadows gave a subconcious growl of approval.

~~~Sesshoumaru's POV~~~

As i stould there and prosessed what i had heard.*So the bitch lusts for this Sesshoumaru, does she. Well this Sesshoumaru will have to pay closer attention to her.*

Their heartbeats where loud in my ears as I waited. Time seemed so slow as I waited. Finally, they all where asleep. I jumped down from my hiding place and landed on sure feet. I approached the miko and began looking in that strange satchle she carrys with her. I searched until I found what I was looking for, the strange book she had been writing in. I put all of her things back just the way I found them and Made of with her book into the night. I ran to the nearest clearing. I sat down and pull my prize out. I stared at it *i wonder what the miko has writen* I flipped open and started to read the first page....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kagome's Diary/poem/documentary Book thingy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel weird about writing in a diary and not knowing them. i mean I'm going to be telling you everything about me so I should name you.....um.....oh I know_

_I dub thee Jeff. Ok know where was I oh yes,_

_Dear Jeff,_

_Today is the day that i realized that I have fallen in love with Inu Yasha, The reason I know this is because everytime I look at him my heart sqeezes, It rippes_

_when he goes to that bitch Kikyo. And everytime he does I feel myself sink more and more into depreshion. I feel that old familar ache to hurt myself, to watch_

_as my life blood pours out of my body and along with it my pain. Why does he ignore me Jeff, he ignores my feelings as though they where nothing just dust in the wind._

_Yet I follow him, I follow him because i love him, I follow him even If I get hurt, I follow him hoping one day that he will look at me like he does her and he will see me _

_for me. Please Kami give me the striegth to wait for that day._

_Kagome_

_I live with you,_

_without you I die._

_I'll love you forever,_

_and this is no lie._

_This love doesn't matter,_

_'cause you don't love me._

_I've known this for a while,_

_that we'll never be._

_Friends we are,_

_friends we'll stay._

_Things would be different,_

_if i had my way._

_I am still happy,_

_although you aren't mine._

_as long as you're pleased,_

_I will be fine._

_I'll love you always,_

_you know that's true._

_No matter what,_

_I'll care most about you._

~~~~Sesshoumaru's POV~~~~

I closed the book and set it down. As I stared off into the stary sky I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Inu Yasha you are truelly a baka..."

~~~FIN~~~

So tell me what you think and if you have any ideas as to what should be in the story message me. Im all ears.

lol anyway credit for the poem goes to Forever Depressed....


	4. The Desicion

Ok guys im having serious writers block so if u guys have any ideas let me know

sublimely,

Sabby-san

~~~Kagome's Soul Chapter 4~~~

~~~Kagome's POV~~~

The sun is setin and Inu Yasha had left to "hunt". But I knew that he wouldn't be back to night. Sometimes I wondered what I ever did to Kami to have this happen to me. To see that man I love betray me over and over again.

Every night that he leaves me and I feel the need for pain. I wonder why?

So I give into the inevitable and tell the group that I am going for a walk. I grab my bag and head out. I walk far away enough that they wont hear me and Shippo wont smell my blood and I sit down.

As I sit there I think about what I'm about to do. I think why am I so weak? Why can't I stop what im doing to myself?

I pull out my blade and stare at It. It was perfectly silver, no hint of what his purpose was, what it had done. I slash It down my wrist and close my eyes as the numbness swept though me. I sighed in relief as all the days stress slipped away. All the insults that Inu Yasha had through at me buzzing in my head and the pain starts to fest again. So to block it I bring the blade back to my skin and slash. As the blood flows I look up to the sky and make a wish. "Please, If there is a Kami please help me. please..."

~~~Sesshoumaru POV~~~

_***Grrrrrrrrrr That stupid bitch!!!!* **_ Sesshoumaru leaned back in disbelief at the girl. That she would cry out to kami in her time of need. But then again she was a miko. His beast struggled to rip out if its cage and go to the girl in her time of need.

But as he sat there he looked at the book that lay so innocently in his lap and cracked it open to read more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kagome's Diary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Jeff,

Today is the day that I died. Well in truth today is the day that I tried to die.

To day I sat in the hot spring and I felt all my unrequited love crash around me

All of the pain I go through. And this terrible long.

A longing to be loved like InuYasha loves Kikyou. To be held like he holds her.

But I want to be held, loved, and cherished for who I am, not for who I look like.

But who would love me….

Me?

Just me…

So as I sat there, I stared at the water and I reach my decision.

I dunked under and try

To except the numbness of death as my lungs cry out for air.

But my attempt was to no avail. For as I was just reaching Death's door an arm retched me

Up and it was the concerned eyes of Sango that I saw.

"What where you doing Kagome?" she asked me. I looked at her "I was rinsing my hair." I lied.

She shrugged and let the matter drop the rest of our bath went as it normally would. Only later

As I lay in my sleeping bag would I let my tears fall.

Sincerely,

Just me.

I held the blade

; I put it to my wrist.

I want to forget everything that you said.

Like how you wanted her over me and lose all our precious memories.

I pull it across my skin as I stare.

Tears come streaming down my face.

Oh, how I loved you like no tomorrow. But your love faded away.

You stand there holding the hand of the woman you have always loved;

reading my tombstone that's covered in flowers saying that I died too young.

A little tear rolled down his cheek. Screaming filled the air. You say "I loved you, now your gone forever, wow this life isn't fair."

He holds up my blade; drops his head in shame. He wants to forget everything that he said...

~~~Sesshoumaru's POV~~~

I stared at the sky and contemplated what I had just read. In a split-second decision. I got up and not letting myself think about what I was about to do I marched towards my brothers camp. All the while telling myself that I was doing the right thing. But was I really, or was I just following in my father's footsteps.

~~~~~~FIN~~~~~

Stay toned for the next chapter.


	5. The stpry she wanted

A special thanx to all the people who have bee encouraging me as I writethis story.

Luna345

Soungoscourage

~~~Chapter 5~~~

~~~Sesshoumaru's POV~~~~~

As I approached my hated brother's encampment I thought about what a lunatic idea this was and resolved to do it anyway. For the sake of the miko human. As I went I thought about how to approach my brother I had to show tact when I spoke to him about joining his group. As I thought about it, I slowed down. Inu Yasha had an inferiority complex and he wanted to be a full demon.

I came to a halt and turned around and walked back to where I had left Rin and Jaken. I kicked Jaken into wakefulness and told him to fetch the things I would need. I gazed at the stars knowing that soon very soon I would put an end to the foolishness that the lovely miko was doing and sooth her wound heart. Maybe then she will be mine. I will pick up the peaces of her broken heart and she will be mine.

~~~~~~Else where!!!!!~~~~~~~

~~~Kagome's POV~~~

I felt a draft stir the air as if something was coming and it wanted to warn me. But as that thought came up, I banished it to the dark recesses of my mind for later thought. My mind was already full as it was.

My mind was about to jump out of my head and run away because of what it was thinking. As I sat there I wondered if the people in the asylums felt the same way I do know or are they so doped up that they cant even think that much.

Would that happen to me. Would I be put in a padded room after all this was over?

Would I stay here? Why would I stay here? What role would I play? The future was so cloudy

And yet I wanted to take it and hold it in my hand as if it was a crystal and turn it this way and that. To examine the possibilities.

But then I got caught up in my pitiful life again and I couldn't think about anything else. I giggled in insane mirth as I though about what I wanted with all my heart. I wanted death. But it would not come to me. All because I was meant to fix the wrong I had committed in braking that damned jewel.

I felt another wave of laughter bubble up inside me. But I held it in this time knowing that if I where to let it out my companions where sure to ask what was so entertaining. They had yet to find out about my death wish, even with me running into all the danger I could to try to get killed in the cross fire and die. But no that stupid Inu Yasha had to save me every time.

I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes and held them at bay.

It was night time now and it was time for me to put Shippo in bed. As I resoled with him and laid him down. He looked up at me and asked for a story.

I was caught completely by surprise. This was the first time he had asked me of something like this. I tilted my head back and thought of a good story to tell him. I smiled as a story popped into mind as I began to tell him for it had been my favorite story when I was growing up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~The story of Cerberus~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a serpent that lived under the sea and she was impregnated by a giant.

When she gave birth to her child. It was born as a three headed dog. At its birth the dog bit off onr of it fathers toes and the father was infuriated and named him Cerberous. sorry guys I don't remember what it means

Now Cerberus was and is the last of his kind. As a pup he hunted under water and caught his mother fish. When he got to skilled at that he went hunting for sharks and brought them back to his mother who was very proud. But as he grow even more he became bored with the sharks and decided to go after giant squid.

So out on his first hunt of the giant squid. He search for days looking for it. But he could not find one not matter how hard he looked.

So when he came back he was sad and his mother knew this so she danced and sang to sooth his wounded pride. As the days passed and Cerberus's anger turned into resignment he thought about going out again.

As the days passed he made a plane to lure the squid to him instead of wasting time and looking for it.

So the very next day he swam around and caught huge fish as much as he could carry in his jaws and he kept them in one area and waited. As the day progressed a squid did come to his trap. But it was still not the right time to attack he knew for it was just then creeping into the fish to feed.

He waited until the giant squid was full and his movements where slow. Then he attacked the squid's tentacles lashed out and tried to fend him off but in it weakened state it was no match.

Cerberus had killed the great giant squid. He was now the best hunter of them all.

So when Cerberus grew board of hunting underwater, he sought more challenges on land.

But as Cerberus was coming up to the surface he saw a little girl. The little girl played on the beach every day. Cerberus came back each and every day to watch her. For he was enchanted by this little girl.

So as the day past Cerberus began to play with this little girl. She was a fisherman's daughter.

So one day she braught Cerberus home to meet her parents. They where thrilled that she had a playmate.

One day Cerberus saw something strange and so he decided to investigate it.

Hates who had been looking for a guardian to his gate looked on in glee. For he had a plan.

When Cerberus was gone hunting Hates killed the little girl and told Cerberus that if he guarded his gate for one million years that he would let the little girls soul go.

But Hates knew that Cerberus didn't know how to count. So the years past a millennia came and gone. Followed by others. All the while Cerberus guarding the gate, keeping people in and others out. Waiting for Hates to set his beloved little girl free.

~~~Kagome's POV~~~

Seeing as how Shippo has fallen asleep I figured I should get some sleep as well. After all we had a full day tomorrow.

As I lay there waiting for sleep to claim me. I thought of how I would like a man as loving and loyal as Cerberous was to his little girl.

How if I did I would not hurt so…

~~FIN~~

Sorry it took me so long to update guys. I have been occupied with school starting and then the people messed up my schedule. Hey guys do me a favor and review. I really appreciate the feed back.

P.s. I messed up the story a bit but that's basically what happens.


	6. The Agreement

~~~Chapter 6~~~

~~~The Meeting and Agreement~~~

~~~Normal POV~~~

As the sun rose over the horizon and the birds sang their morning songs to greet the day. A figure

stood in its rays warming his outer body for inside he was forever cold. He was beautiful for a demon

that is.

The demon opened his golden eyes and took a deep breath of the mornings fresh air.

"It is time," the deep baritone said.

~~~Inu Yasha's POV~~~

The sun was peaking over the horizon when I smelled it. Or rather him, Sesshoumaru, my hated half

brother.

Every muscle and tendon in my body tensed and an unconscious growl escaped my lips.

"Damn it!"

I slipped out of camp as quietly as I could and headed his way. He was clearly expecting me as I raced towards him

i cracked my claws in anticipation. I was going to kill him this time.

~~~Sesshoumru's POV~~~

I breathed calmly waiting for my foul half breed brother to arrive. I thought about what I was about to do and how to go about it.

I sighed as he burst through the tree line

It was time to face what I had planned to do, or rather resolved to do.

"Inu Yasha Calm yourself. We have much to discuss. "

"Huh…." Was his half witted reply. I drew in a deep breath to cleanse myself of the frustration building in my chest

"I have come to strike a bargain half breed. I have found it worthy of myself to hunt down and slaughter Naraku. So I have come to you Inu Yasha for there is strength in numbers. However, I require something in return."

~~~Normal POV~~~

By this time Inu Yasha was fuming. "How dare you assume me and my pack would need you to help us defeat Naraku!"

"SIT BOY!" Inu Baka crashed to the ground and meet his best friend dirt.

"Inu Yasha don't look a gift horse in the mouth. What are your terms Sesshoumaru?" Kagome gazed at him with hollow eyes.

"I require you miko."

"How is it that you require me Youkia?"

"Gr, I will have you as my mate in exchange for my help."

A slap was head through out the forest has Kagome's anger got the best of her. "I AM NOT PROPERTY!"

Kagome ran back to camp to get away from the men's stupidity.

As always they never listened to her. Even if she was standing right in their way and yelling that there was a cliff three feet in front of them, and they saw it they still wouldn't listen to her.

Urg what the hell was she to do stomp her feet and complain. She could feel her tears bubbling to the surface as she stood there and with them came her frustration and depression.

Why wouldn't they listen to her?

Did she seem like she was stupid, ill mannered?

Did she deserve the way they treated her?

………………………………….

Okay I am sooo sorry that it took me so long to update this story guys. I vow from this time forward that I shall try harder to update on time. Please if you guys have any ideas for this story I wouldn't mind some suggestions.

Thank You Guys.


	7. Contemplations

Chapter 7

~~~~Contemplation~~~~

~~~Inu Yasha~~~

"Half-Breed, I will join your group tomorrow at sunrise. I will expect to be treated civilly and no harm will befall my ward. "

With that parting statement Sesshoumaru turned and promptly swept out of the clearing.

As I sat there I wondered yet again, what the hell was going on. Then again my hated half brother was extremely powerful and could help farther our search. The chances of killing Naraku would also increase. It all came down to the greater good. if this was so then it Was time to pull some resources. Kouga of the wolf demon tribe would have to be called and so would they have to journey to Toutosi's as well to commission a sword.

With this last thought Inu Yasha stood and threw back his head only to let loose an eerie howl that the mangy mutt would hear and come running.

His duty done he returned to camp, only to find Kagome still wasn't back.

~~~Sesshoumaru~~~

I lifted my head to stare at the sky and contemplate what had just happened. Why had the Miko reacted that way? She thought herself property?

My cheek still stung with the holey power that she had unknowingly infused in her strike. The Miko needed to be trained.

I had also wounded my intendeds already damaged physic y, I would have to ratify this and quickly so it would not fester.

A trinket would do nicely. Maybe a pendent.

With this thought in mind I began the trek back to camp to make preporations.

……..

Ohhhhh what happened to Kagome? What will become of the Rag tag team? Is Inu Yasha getting more mature?  
find out next time?


End file.
